It’s All About Balance

There's been a lot of talk about balancing your masculine and feminine energy lately, but what does that mean?

And what exactly is feminine and masculine energy? 

The concept of feminine and masculine has been around for a long time. Ancient Chinese philosophy refers to these energies as yin and yang - Yin being feminine, Yang being masculine. In Hinduism they are called Shakti and Shiva.  

But whatever their names, they are two energies that are both necessary to live a balanced life.  

Masculine and feminine energy are gender neutral. Female doesn't mean feminine energy and male doesn't mean masculine energy.

We all possess both of these energies. Another misconception is that feminine energy is on one side of the scale, and masculine is on the other.  

You don't choose masculine versus feminine energy. You choose both. 

Masculine and feminine energies are two different energies possessing different characteristics. In order to gain more feminine energy you don't decrease masculine energy.  

And either of these energies can be out of balance. 

What is Masculine Energy?

Masculine energy includes such things as: 

• Logic - Getting things done in a logical order step by step. (Always read the instruction manual first). Thought processes are driven by reason.  

• Action and Doing -  Being goal oriented and making things happen. 

• Structure and Stability: Playing by the rules and being predictable. No game playing here, 

• Planning, Focus and Problem Solving: Being clear and direct and staying on course. 

• Strength and Protection: Being defensive and ensuring safety and security. Being strong and resilient.  

• Will Power, Independence Confidence and Decisiveness: Knowing what needs to be done. Being self-sufficient.Being proactive and confident 

• Giving : Not being afraid to give to others.  

When masculine energy is balanced, you feel safe and secure and you use your strength to support others around you.

You feel certain about yourself. Your mind is clear and your focus is strong.  

When masculine energy is unbalanced, you feel the need  to dominate, control, and conquer. It can show up as trying to force things, being over competitive, aggressive.

When conflicts arise, you may go into fight a flight mode rather than being compassionate or reasoning things out. You may avoid emotions.

Being too heavy on the masculine energy side means vulnerability is seen as a weakness. You may become over-controlling of others or even violent.  

What is Feminine Energy?

Feminine energy on the other hand is more fluid,  intuitive and creative. It's linked to empathy and a flowing way of life.

An example would be a person who doesn't restrict themself to social norms. They don't follow anybody else's rules. They guide themself using their heart. Feminine energy doesn't need a 10-step process.

When you're feminine energy is balanced, things flow to you naturally. Feminine energy comes from knowing who you are and embracing your inner power.  

Feminine energy includes such things as: 

• Nonlinear: Surrendering to the flow of life.   

• Being and Receiving: Being intuitive, nurturing and being ok with receiving.   

• Intuition and Emotions: Being guided by an inner wisdom. 

• Compassion and Sensitive: Being empathic, affectionate and aware of others feeling in order to connect deeply with them and the environment. 

• Creative and Inspiration: Allowing expression of your creativity. 

• Sharing and Openness: Being open to new ideas and possibilities, and being okay with  sharing feelings. 

• Patient and Slow: Allowing things to unfold at their own pace without pushing them. 

When you recognize that it's time to let go of the old to allow in the new, that's feminine energy working.

Feminine energy lets you know when it's time to slow down and nurture yourself.

Feminine energy doesn't suppress emotions, instead it lets you listen to the lessons your emotions are bringing forward.

With feminine energy you're not afraid to feel, you can see the bigger picture, you're good at listening and sharing and nurturing. 

It all sounds great, but feminine energy can be out of balance too. When it is, you feel unfocused, scattered and unstable. You don't feel like you have a purpose or direction in life - you're just floating from one thing to another but nothing is sticking. You feel ungrounded. 

Unbalanced feminine energy is feeling lost, confused, anxious, overwhelmed and unable to plan or decide.

Self-esteem is tied to feminine energy, and when this energy is unbalanced, you may lack self worth, and not feel that you're good enough without someone else's approval.

Maybe you don't know how to trust your intuition or love yourself. 

Playing the victim, talking down to yourself, feeling like you're just not enough- all of this indicates that your feminine energy is out of balance. 

Why Does it Matter if I'm Not Balanced? 

When you're not balanced in the two energies you feel out of harmony.

You don't feel a sense of peace and compassion. You feel stressed. You don't feel creative. You don't feel energized, or that you are connected with others. You don't feel fulfilled in life. You feel dull. 

And when we disregard one energy for another, we force ourselves into a mold that isn't us.

We all know that telling the truth is easy but telling a lie requires a lot of energy in an effort to keep all the details straight. It's the same here.

If you're pretending to be something you're not, you're wasting energy.  

Finding a balance between your masculine and feminine energy is crucial for your health and growth. 

If you let people undermine your worth, if you always say yes when you mean no, if you don't set hard boundaries because you don't want to be harsh, or don't speak up and just hope that you'll be noticed, you are unbalanced and will feel a deep distraction in life, a dissatisfaction that you might not even be able to put your finger on.  

Too much masculine energy can lead to burnout. Too much feminine energy can lead to stagnation. An imbalance in either one of these can lead to physical conditions and health issues.   

The Spectrum of Emotions 

Think of each energy trait as a being on a spectrum. The masculine energy of confidence is something to strive for, however being overconfident to the point of being cocky is not.

Likewise, being under confident is just as bad - you're afraid to even step out the door and try something. 

With feminine energy you can be supportive and comforting,  But tilt too far to one side of the scale and you are thinking only of yourself.

Have you ever met a person who was all "me, me, me, okay enough about me, let's talk about me?"

Tilting too far to the other side of the scale means you could be ignoring your own needs for the sake of others. This is the you, you, you, nothing about me person. I'm taking about the fixer. 

Fixers pride themselves on fixing everybody else's problems. But this leads to anxiety or insomnia or fatigue, or any other symptom that lets you know that you've overextended yourself.

Not to mention it can lead to a feeling of resentful toward the people you are trying to help. 

Any way that you act that goes against your nature, and that makes you feel like something is wrong, even if you can't pinpoint it exactly, is an indication that one of your energies is out of balance.  

Pushing harder, telling yourself that you can handle anything, allowing yourself to be the scapegoat or the fixer are not traits to be proud of, instead they are trauma patterns that are not sustainable without leading to emotional and physical problems.

These traits mean that you're running an old script, one that you learned in childhood, and one which most likely doesn't serve you today. 

I Finally Listened 

I had no idea that I was energetically out of balance. But my body knew and it had been telling me for years.

I had lower left back pain constantly. The left side is the feminine side.  My feminine energy was the energy that was completely out of balance in me.  

Everything I did in life could have been plucked off the list from the over-active masculine energy side. I valued structure. I was an over achieve, straight A's or else I was a failure.

I was fiercely independent and told myself I could do everything without help. Even though I secretly craved attention and wanted someone to notice when I needed help, there was no way I was going to ask.

I went through life like a marathon, never taking time for myself because I wasn't really worth the effort. I would buy myself new clothes and never wear them because they were too good for me.

I talked fast, I walked fast, and I got impatient with people who didn't operate at the same speed. 

I wasn't intentionally ignoring my feminine energy, I just didn't know what it was. I had learned from childhood that my masculine energy would protect me.

Although I had loads of confidence, I had very little self worth, I had no problem facing challenges and taking risks, but I never felt comfortable asking for help.

I never quite felt good enough, and was always looking for that approval from outside of myself. 

I didn't know what using feminine energy was. I thought that meant dressing in high heels and painting my nails.

But it's actually about loving myself from the inside, being sensitive to my own needs. It's about learning to rest when my body says rest. It means not practicing power yoga five times a week. But to me, more exercise was better. Resting was unproductive. I was in a constant loop of doing and my nervous system was stuck in ON mode.  

I was overperforming, always moving, learning more and more and more and still didn't think I was doing enough. My lower back was screaming at me to slow down and I wasn't listening.  

The Flow of Life 

Masculine and feminine energies shift and flow throughout your life. They're not static.

And it's a misconception to think of masculine energy as just strength and control, or feminine energy as just softness and nurturing.

Both energies are equally as powerful; they just show up differently. 

Masculine energy is about action, construction, direction. Masculine energy moves forward with purpose.

At its core, masculine energy is competitive, focused and driven. It's the push to overcome obstacles, to take risks and act even when you're afraid.

It's the part of you that sets goals, stands firm in your values and protects what matters most. It's the giving energy.

Masculine energy sets boundaries, creates order, and leads when things fall apart. But when it's overused, it leads to burnout, rigidity and emotional numbness. Ding ding, this was me, both hands waving in the air. 

At its core, feminine energy is passive and patient. It allows you to sit with feelings and discomfort and uncertainty without rushing to fix it or control it.

It's about being vulnerable and having courage to be honest about your emotions, your needs and your desires without the fear of judgment. Feminine energy helps you trust your instincts.  

Feminine energy is also the desire to be cared for and cherished and to feel worthy of love and tenderness. Ding ding, this is me now!

But feminine energy can be just as toxic if there's too much of it. It can lead to the fear of not speaking up.

Instead you smile and stuff it all down and then later complain to your friends  instead of setting boundaries when you should have.

It can lead to you always trying  to keep the peace. What you're doing is training everybody around you to ignore your needs because you didn't set your boundaries and defend them to begin with.  

Feminine energy without boundaries action and honesty is chaos and you end up overgiving, under earning and being resentful of anyone you're trying to please.  

How to Get Balanced 

In order to balance your masculine and feminine energies, you need to dig behind the mask to find out who you really are, who you like to be, not how you think you should be.

You need to take a good look at the way you've been living and find out where on the scales of masculine and feminine energy you sit. 

It's not easy. It's not easy to sit down with yourself and be totally honest. Sometimes it's easier if somebody else can gently point this out to you.

Which is exactly what your dreams do. I said gently, but your dreams are actually brutally honest. It's you being honest with you.  

Your dreams show you exactly where your energies are out of balance.

They show you the situations and childhood events and traumas that tilted you off balance. With this awareness, you can start to rebalance. 

There are things you can do now to help restore your energy balance, but ultimately understanding why it's off balance, and addressing the root causes will lead to greater and more lasting healing.   

How I Healed

By starting to appreciate myself and getting validation from my inner world instead of just from my outer world, I started to balance my feminine and masculine energy.

I started to receive instead of just give. I cut the energy ties (CTT) with both Mom and Dad, and I started to heal myself.

My back pain completely vanished, other physical symptoms went away - things that I had lived with for years. I felt the energy of life come back to me.  

I started to do yoga to help balance my feminine energy. But not the five-times-a-week power yoga that I had been doing before.

Eventually I leaned how to relax into myself, listen to my body and my mind, and especially my energy levels.   

Start Balancing Your Energies

To balance the feminine try yoga, meditation, laughing, getting into nature, doing intuitive writing.  

To balance the masculine, plan a trip, stop work when you leave the office, pick a goal to work towards and schedule a time to chip away at it. Get together with friends. 

And of course, listen to your dreams. 

The Best Thing You'll Ever Do

One of the best things you'll ever do for yourself is to balance your masculine and feminine energies.

And one of the best ways to do this is through understanding what your Higher Self is telling you.

That information is coming straight to you through your dreams every night. It's tailor made just for you, and it's never wrong. 

Healing is a lifetime endeavor. You are never really finished. But as you heal, and you see how much better you can feel, you begin to enjoy the healing journey.

Maybe you're not jumping up and down that your dreams are identifying yet another energy imbalance, but knowing that you can heal it IS something to jump for joy about.  

Work with me and together we can dig into the patterns that hold you back so that you can create clear practical ways to balance your masculine and feminine energies.

You'll be so thankful you did.